Long time no post, I know. (I've decided that one of my Health Month tasks is to write a blog post each week, so hopefully that will change.)
Life's been busy in a low-key way, meaning that most of the busy-ness has been of short duration and of only minor significance. Now, however, it's teetering on the edge of a lot of changes, and I'm feeling quietly anxious about it. (I'd be running around with my arms waving in the air from nervousness, if I wasn't coping through determined denial.)
Two things are clear: D has an upcoming part-time job in Midwestern City (not this one) with unclear long-term prospects. And we will not be staying here past October. Beyond that, little is clear.
So what would otherwise be an annoying slog of packing and moving to Midwestern City has become complicated. Do we look for a small apartment for D in Midwestern City, while I take most of the stuff to DC? Do we both move to Midwestern City, then again if I get the DC job?
And where should we be looking, in either place? All of our moves over the last eight years or so have been informed by the institution D's working at -- either our choices were limited by the size of the local community, or by a desire to be proximate to his place of work. But neither applies in this case, so we're at a bit of a loss as to how to begin.
Mostly we've been looking at listings in Midwestern City in a desultory way, but it's hard for me to get excited about it. Partly it's because I hate moving and I'm in a bit of denial about the whole process, and partly because if I commit to the apartment-hunting process in Midwestern City it's an admission that I don't think I'm going to get the DC job. But looking for something in DC seems like counting unhatched chickens, and I don't want to raise my hopes any more than they are, because if they crash I'd rather just deal with failed job hopes and not failed housing hopes on top of it.
I've given myself until Monday to hope, and then I'm going to focus on helping us find a place in Midwestern City. If I get the DC job, I'll have the money to make alterations to the arrangements, but we can only put things on hold for so long.
I hate waiting for a situation to resolve, especially when the results hinge on other people's decisions, and I have little control over them.
There are some other personal and professional things I'm waiting for news on, and can't take action until I get clarification, but at this point they're more distractions from the larger distraction of moving and job-finding. Having them hovering in the background doesn't help my mood, however.
I also won't talk about the political situation, nor the economic one. (I really don't like thinking about the personal aspects of the latter. I hate being money-anxious, I do.)