Frogs and Ravens

Flurry and Hiatus

Things are back to normal -- sort of -- for the time being. I have a strong feeling that the next days, weeks, months are going to go through multiple cycles of normality and fresh realization of what has happened. It's rather like the fires themselves; they flare up and move fast and scare you into shocked silence, then they die down, and you go back to what you were doing. Then the embers rekindle, and back it comes. Then they die down. Then the mudslides will come. Then the grass will grow again. And on and on.

When I saw them last, my friends were getting a handle on the situation and beginning to make at least short-term plans for getting their lives back together. The good news is that most of their animals and a few belongings did survive the inferno. The bad news is that virtually everything else was destroyed. They are taking it one day at a time, understandably.

My own life is back to its usual paths, too, albeit with an occasional hitch in its gait. Work was bad today; the air quality inside was quite poor and the one fan and one filter were inadequate. My eyes are still achy and my chest still feels tight. I can only imagine what it was like the previous day (they were closed Monday); they were only 5-10 miles from one of the fires. Ironically, the air quality outside was much better today; there was even some patches of blue sky instead of the endless eerie yellow pall that made one feel like one was inside a bad sci-fi movie.

Other news -- minor in light of the greater events, but annoying to me, so I'm mentioning it here -- I've now been rejected from two insurance companies. Apparently my iritis makes me a "bad risk," meaning the only policies they're willing to offer are far more expensive than my current $334 a month. This is not good. I'm going even more broke than I already am dealing with my existing COBRA payments. This is what I get for being an honest person, I guess -- it's easy to toss out an application that is honest about past problems while it might be harder to notice problems with a dishonest one. (Not that I'm thinking of lying -- even by omission -- on the next application. But it's a cruel thing to realize.)

No wonder people are so paranoid about the implications of genetic testing for disease!

State of Emergency

Just letting you know that I'm probably not going to be blogging for a while due to the
horrible fires in southern California; we're being told not to use the phones unless we have to,
and my connection is dial-up.

I also don't have the time or energy right now -- some very good friends of mine (virtually
family) barely escaped with their lives Saturday night. Their homes have been completely
destroyed and those of us in the area who know them are busy trying to get them things like
clothes, food, etc.

If you want to help other people who are in a similar situation, but who may not have the same
resources in terms of friends, I strongly recommend going to the Red Cross and making a
donation. Their URL is http://www.sdarc.org/ Thanks.

Scattered Thoughts

I'm too tired and ear-achy to write something really coherent, so here's a few things I've noticed or wondered about during the last few days:

Should I be pleased or worried that I have now become so familiar with the filing system that I can, more often than not, locate the correct place for a file within one or two places on the first try? (To fully appreciate this, realize that the system is not well indexed, that many sections have gaps of up to 3 digits' worth, and that the labels for the individual files are not visible when they are in the drawers.)

The back room smells of stale sweat. Given that at least half of the people working here smoke, this is not a good thing! (I find it hard enough just squeezing past people in the narrow hallways; I don't mind smokers, or even cigarette smoke that much, but smoker BO is nauseating.)

On a related note: can anyone recommend a good cuticle cream? The action of repeatedly plunging my fingers in between closely-packed files is wreaking havoc on my fingers. Cream that smells good -- I like rose, lavender, sandalwood, orange and neroli scents (and not fruity so much) -- gets bonus points.

Chalk up one more person I disillusioned with the knowledge that this lowly temp has not only a master's but a doctorate. I'm more-or-less used to the concept, but others keep being either startled or grimly satisfied with yet another sign that the economy is poor. Heh -- nice to be a datum in others' schemata, isn't it?

Pizza tastes much better when you are tired beyond belief and can barely pick up the phone to place the order. It also makes a good lunch in the break room the next day.

Entrepreneurial Opportunity

If I were sufficiently motivated to start my own business, here is one possibility: an efficiency consultant.

My thought, based on how my temp jobs have been going, is that a temp -- especially one with strong skills in analysis, observation, training and communication -- would be an ideal resource to consult if you were concerned about inefficiencies in your procedures, worker morale, etc. The consultant comes in, works just as a temp would for a few days, a week, a month (whatever is needed to gain a full understanding of regular procedure). Then she writes up an evaluation of the existing procedures and offers recommendations for improved function. An additional service might be implementing the new and improved procedure and educating the workers on how it works (though this could be dicey, if they felt betrayed by her spying on them while under the guise of an innocuous temp). The business could be called something like "Temp's Eye View Consulting" ("Temp Eye for the Corporate Guy" of course came to mind at once and was dismissed just as fast!).

Now, I know that efficiency experts are nothing new, nor consultants. But having the consult actually DO the job being evaluated would, I suspect, provide a level of insight mere observation would not offer. Plus, the hiring company would get some files filed and memos typed!

Don't forget -- all ideas on this site are copyrighted... *smile*

Ergonomic Nightmare

I started my new temp job today, and it is easy to see why one of the previous temps quit. It is very tiring on the lower back! (After I eat dinner I plan to lie on my back in Savasana for a while to uncrimp it.)

Beyond that, it is relatively low-key -- most of the employees wear jeans and t-shirts -- and not conceptually difficult. Basically, you sort files into different categories, organize them within categories by account number and then file them.

Practically speaking, it offered a fine example of things that desperately need improving but which aren't because there is no time to do so without shutting down the whole system. The file cabinets are old and erratic. They are poorly labeled on the outside, necessitating repeated peeking to see if the drawer is one you need to open or not. The hanging file folders are inconsistently labeled; some sections are very well flagged while others require a lot of digging around to find the right section. The files themselves are badly and inconsistently labeled, requiring extra time to find the account number. Moreover, large sections of the main files are missing at any given moment in order for the data entry people to work with them; while there is a daily list of who has what, I quickly discovered that it is not entirely accurate. Even when it is, having a file that is "out" means hunting down the person's cubicle (there is a map for that, at least) and doing your filing while trying not to get in their way -- awkward to say the least.

Oh, and did I mention that we're also supposed to time how long it takes to do each stage and record the number of files processed at each stage? (Needless to say, most people are stunningly casual about this.) Ironically, the idea is to enable the supervisor to improve efficiency!

So, all around, it was an experience in navigating chaos that I lack the authority -- not the ability nor the will -- to make more efficient. By the end of the day I was getting rather zen about it -- watch the chaos and don't think too much about it.

Back for more tomorrow...

Frog Day

Gaaaah. I hate, hate, hate trying to fill out health insurance application forms! It doesn't matter whether they're on paper or online; they are just horrible. I spent most of today wrestling with one on-line form only to be told at the end that some number field was wrong -- and when I checked it, there was nothing wrong with it, except that the computer thinks so. Feh!

Of course, the larger frustration behind this is having to even apply for health insurance. I did send off an application about a month ago for a new policy, but it was denied -- and of course you have to write them and wait a month before anything resembling an explanation is forthcoming -- and now I have to say I was denied once on all subsequent applications.

This said, not applying is not an option. I am still covered with COBRA from my last employer, but the monthly premium is equivalent of a week's salary -- when I am even working! It is just insane. (And of course the temp agency only offers insurance to those who manage 30 consecutive working days -- a nice catch-22 right there.)

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH! *sound of ripping hair and stomping feet*

*pant, pant*



In other news... I do at least have a paying job for the next few weeks. Filing. At $10 an hour, before taxes of course. Could be worse, I suppose, but I'm going to miss my afternoon volunteer work. *sniff*

Why They Call It "Practice"

Finally, after weeks of thinking I should but not acting, I practiced yoga this afternoon. It was not the best practice -- I was very stiff and the room was too warm (I'm not a Bikramite!) and my mat smelled stale -- but I did it, and that is the most important thing.

I did learn some interesting things about myself while practicing. One of my long-standing favorite poses is Vrksasana or Tree Pose. You have probably seen people doing this pose. It's the one where you stand on one leg while the other knee is bent and that foot rests on the standing thigh; at the same time the hands touch palm-to-palm above your head. (If you wish to do this pose, be firm but relaxed with the standing leg -- feel as if it is a root reaching deep into the ground below you. Then raise up through your spine, feeling your torso lift. Extend your arms, but do not raise your shoulders. Make your face calm and serene. Choose a dhristi or gazing point and look calmly at it. If you fall out of balance, go with it and smile. Be a calm, flexible tree.)

Usually I am very happy to practice Tree. I like the feeling of calm that comes over me and the quiet joy of looking peacefully at one place while balancing in a beautiful shape. Not today. My thoughts were battering about in my brain -- very random thoughts, too -- and I was not calm and I kept wobbling in a way I usually do not.

Clearly, I feel out of balance on some deep level and Tree revealed this to me.

On the other hand, I found myself greatly soothed by a pose that I usually rush through: Salabhasana or Locust Pose. Here you lie on your stomach and raise your upper chest while lifting your legs and extending your arms backward. (If you wish to try it, be sure that you keep your stomach flat against the floor and your lower back calm. Lie with your arms at your sides, palms up. Lift only the front of your torso at first, with chin slightly tucked. Move as if a string was attached to the top of your sternum and was being pulled gently up and to the front of you. (If you feel the bend, it should be in the area of your shoulder blades, not your lower back.) Raise up on one breath, then lower slowly on the exhale. Repeat several times slowly before trying it with raised legs. When you raise your legs, point your toes and extend gently backwards. Again, the lower back should feel calm, not tight and stressed. Do this for a few breaths, raising torso and legs on the inhale, then lowering on the exhale. Now add the arms, which have been lying along your sides. Raise them gently on the inhale as you raise your torso as before and feel them extend back and slightly down. On the exhale, lower both arms and torso. You may wish to try raising only the torso and the arms before trying it with all limbs raised at once. Repeat as often as feels comfortable. Afterwards, you may wish to rest in Child Pose: kneel on the ground, curl over your knees into a restful fetal shape and let your arms either rest by your side or in front of you.)

Gently raising and lowering myself with my breath was surprisingly soothing and engrossing, and I felt much calmer after doing Locust.

Even Savasana or Corpse Pose was a surprise today. (This is the one where you lie on your back to rest and reintegrate yourself at the end of class.) There are always some small adjustments that I feel compelled to make as I lie there, but it is typically a calming experience. So I was very startled when a sudden itch prompted me to sit up abruptly and scratch my leg. Some corpse!

All in all, this practice was not quite what I expected, but that is, I believe, a good thing. If nothing else, it was a reminder not to take myself -- or my assumptions -- for granted. Things might -- and probably will -- change.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed that I found a job much better than the ones my temp agency's been finding me -- though it was still clerical (I was to be one of several personal assistants for a wealthy guy adding to his private staff). My agent was even there in his glamorous fifties-luxe living room as his house manager made me an amazing offer the agency could never hope to top.

That, obviously, is a pretty easy dream to read. I don't know what to make of the next part though, which involved rambling through an urban park setting like the one near where I live in the company of an elderly band of bagpipers playing the blues.

Thanks, Academy Girl!

I've never had a blog entry dedicated to me before. It's rather nice!


In other news... I have told my advisor that the likelihood of my needing a reference letter for the academic job search is growing increasingly small. I just can't work up the enthusiasm needed to visit all the websites of the posting institutions, write tailored cover letters, etc.

Where did that enthusiasm go? Increasingly, it seems to be heading into museum work. Now, to find a way to get over that "needs 3-5 years of experience in museum work" hurdle (and to feed myself while doing so).

Small Peeves

Why can airport bookstores only manage to sell sci-fi/fantasy books that are parts of series or trilogies? Why can't they sell all of the trilogy, instead of only book 2?

Why does U.S. Airways insist on having Fox News as its in-flight news service? Can't they find anything less obviously partisan?

Why does my neighbor's dog keep barking?